By Harvey Deutschendorf
Since civilization began, storytelling has been one of the most effective ways of passing down information, making connections, entertainment and conveying messages and passing down cultural traditions. The power of storytelling has never diminished and is now as important in our workplaces and lives as ever. There is little that can match good storytelling for strongly connecting us to one another, influencing us to make decisions and make us believe in the products that we depend on in our everyday lives. Sharing stories strengthens and bonds us to each other, our workplaces, our relationships, communities and the world around us. All great speakers have discovered that telling stories has a much greater influence on their audience than simply spewing out data.
The reason that good stories have such a strong influence on us is that they directly impact our emotions. When hearing a speaker telling a story, more of our brain is engaged than when they are simply giving us data. We are emotional beings, even when we believe that we are being rational. While we may believe that we make decisions using our rational brain, we actually make them based on our emotions. Research has shown that we already made an emotional decision, even if we are unaware of it, by the time our rational mind thinks of the reasons we are making it.
Karen Eber, author of The Perfect Story: How to Tell Stories that Inform, Influence, and Inspire, says “Data doesn’t change our behavior, our emotions do. Storytelling dynamically engages emotions and increases trust in the storyteller. As you listen to stories, you gain empathy for the storyteller, particularly when sensing their vulnerability. As empathy increases, so does trust, creating more of the bonding neurochemical oxytocin to be released in your brain. Oxytocin indicates to our brain who is safe to know and be around, and who should be avoided.”
Messages that we receive from stories are more meaningful and have more impact than if we receive them from other sources. We remember stories because we can relate to them, the situation, place or characters in them. Organizations and leaders can use stories to create a bond, motivate, create a feeling of belonging and sense of community for the employees of that organization. In my new book, Emotional Intelligence Game Changers: 101 Simple Ways to Win at Work + Life, www.theotherkindofsmart.com there are tips on how to become a great storyteller.
Stories can help us build bridges and connections between different cultures. When I was with a Toastmasters Club years ago, the members were a very diverse group from different cultures. One of our members, from China, told us a story of how many people who worked in big cities, but lived elsewhere, had to scramble to find transportation during a time when everyone was trying to get home to their families for the holidays. He showed slides of people trying to get into a crowded train through windows. Another one of our members from Bangladesh talked of how he loved travelling by rickshaw. I still remember these stories years later.
Stories are personal and through them we weave our hopes, dreams, fears, aspirations and desires. Those who share parts of themselves through their stories connect on a deep emotional level to others who share the same feelings. That is why we remember stories long after we have forgotten everything else about a particular event or person. Stories bring up feelings and memories for us. They can motivate and stir us to take action. When someone is telling us a story, we automatically go there with them, trying to put ourselves in their place, imagining what it is like for them. We can feel their fear, sadness, disappointment as well as share their joy and happiness. It increases our level of empathy.
As humans we are hardwired for connection. There is fear that with rapid AI and technological advancement, we will lose even more connection with each other. It is crucial, in this time of rapid change, that we use proven methods that can strengthen and enhance our emotional ties to one another. The time proven practice of storytelling is one of the best ways that we can do this.
