By Tim D. Keck and Monte Mills
The blade of the knife felt cold against Aletha’s throat.
He ordered her out of the car and forced her inside his truck. Fear welled up inside, and her mind raced, trying to determine what to do.
Most women have imagined a scenario like this true story. It’s the stuff nightmares are made of. But it’s not just women who must be prepared to face violence. In this day and time, it is all of us.
Stabbings. Carjackings. Assaults. Violent crime is on the rise across the nation, and it’s only going to get worse.
That explains why more and more of our clients are requesting training in De-Escalation and Self Protection. We’ve written extensively about ways to de-escalate situations, but now we offer solutions for those rare times when nothing else has worked, and you must physically protect yourself or become the victim of a horrible crime.
Before we delve into tactics and techniques, let’s talk about avoidance strategies for a minute. Do these things, and you will likely never be targeted:
1. Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, something probably is wrong. When you get that feeling, take immediate action and do something different.
2. Don’t be in the wrong place at the wrong time. This involves everything from avoiding known trouble spots to limiting shopping to daylight hours.
3. Exude confidence. People who appear confident rarely become victims because they don’t look like easy targets. Walk more slowly, with a longer stride, head up, surveying your surroundings. DO NOT stare at your phone the whole time or wear earbuds.
We know what you’re thinking. I shouldn’t have to live my life like that. And you’re right. You shouldn’t.
Yet here we are.
Which is exactly what Aletha was thinking as her kidnapper started the truck. This wasn’t fair. She was only 17 years old. She just got off work. She only wanted to go home to her family.
But he didn’t care about all that.
And this is where most people get stuck in their thinking. They think they can reason with the person trying to kill them. But the assailant who has committed hundreds of violent acts isn’t a reasonable person. Then they think they’ll call 911 and help will come. It probably will. But how much damage can a deranged person do to you in the meantime? Too much damage. Lastly, people think they will just run away from what will likely be a bigger, faster, stronger opponent. Think about that.
If you can’t accept the fact that violence could happen to you, there is little we can do to help.
But if you can face the reality of life in an ever more violent culture, here are the three things you need to know to protect yourself and those you care about.
1. Adopt a Survival Mindset – This is a mental agreement that says, “I can and will survive. I can and will use violence to protect myself and those I love. I will persist until I win the encounter.” Repeat it over and over. Make it a mantra. This is the most critical element of this equation. As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” We think you can.
2. Attack the Vulnerable Spots – In a violent encounter, you must focus on creating an incapacitating injury in your opponent. Forget what they are trying to do to you. Focus solely on destroying their ability to hurt you by hitting their groin (as hard as you can, repeatedly, until they drop), striking their neck with an elbow (generating power by rotating your hips), or disabling their eyes (driving your thumb into the socket as deep as you can).
3. Use Mental Rehearsal – Play the “What would I do if?” game, asking yourself how you would respond in various likely scenarios. Imagine how you would react to everything from the scary person approaching your car as you pump gasoline to the sound of glass breaking at 3 a.m. Think and feel your way through each scenario, feel the fear, and overcome it through deep breathing.
Being a target doesn’t mean you have to be a victim.
Aletha was too frightened to speak as her knife-wielding assailant drove her into the darkness. But her instincts insisted that she talk to her kidnapper. So, she humanized the encounter by telling him her name and making small talk.
When he stopped in a field and got her out of the truck, her instincts told her to submit. So, she did. When he got on top of her to commit the act, her instincts told her to scoot out from under him, which she did. Repeatedly. Until he could no longer reach the knife, he’d laid on the ground.
When he got up to get the knife, her instincts screamed, “Run!” And she ran, disappearing into the night.
She went home to her family, and her attacker went to prison.
If a 17-year-old pizza waitress can do that with no training at all, what could you do by putting a few of the above principles to work?
Let us partner with you and your organization to protect you and those you care about! Call 1-844-SAFEGROUP or visit safehavensecuritygroup.com today for vulnerability assessments, training, and consulting that keeps people safe. And remember, initial consultations are free.